I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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