Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize