I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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