he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
its not stalking. its research.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
