ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
