I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
