yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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