The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
