Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
