Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
