it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
