shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Actions speak louder than pants.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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