I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
