Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Couch. On fire.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
