I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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