she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
