Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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