I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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