Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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