Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
