Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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