I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
