Banned from zoo.
Again?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
