Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
