My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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