Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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