I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
