White coat. Heels.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
