forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
