You can't motorboat a personality
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
