i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
