okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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