I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
