Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
