he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
