Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
