But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
