I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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