with your own penis?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
