If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
