My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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