My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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