My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
