who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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