well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
