i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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