i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
