chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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