Whod you bang
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
