i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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